- Stay centered/relaxed/focused.
- Concentrate on positive aspects of this process.
- We will get through it and it will end.
- Change is difficult, requires patience and perspective.
- The bigger the change the greater the requirements.
- The outcome will be a good one.
- Our mediator understands the dynamic and can help- let him be in control.
- He has been through harder mediations. He has the experience to help.
- This process requires tolerance, forgiveness, and going the extra mile.
- I will continue to be responsible for myself and try to do well for our child. She is my major focus.
- I can only control myself.
- I will respond to my spouse’s anger and judging with perspective and forgiveness.
- I will not allow my spouse to hurt or anger me by anything he says or does.
- I will not react personally or negatively to my spouse.
- I will continue to act affirmatively whenever possible.
- My spouse cannot help it and is not acting out of malevolence or intentional hurtfulness.
- I will continue to act with integrity, sensitivity, and with my eye on the goal of completing the process with the best possible outcome.
- I will keep my eye on the prize of peace.
- I deserve it and have worked hard for it.
- I believe I will come out of this a stronger, better person.
- I believe God will help me and take care of me.
There will be a time within the next year when I will catch myself smiling or laughing without even thinking about it. I will wake up with a mind and heart clear of fear of the unknown and the unanticipated financial and emotional threats that now burden my life and relationships. I will return to being an innately happy person who values recreation, relaxation, andrelationships. I will be able to regenerate. I have carried the burden for many years; I can continue to carry it quietly for another few weeks. It has been a long road. I can keep going a little bit longer. I have done a good job. I will get to the end and start a new beginning.
[Editor’s Note: Poem submitted by attorney Forrest Mosten, Identity of the author is withheld by request. Salient facts are fictitious.]
FAMILY AND CONCILIATION COURTS REVIEW, Vol. 34 No. 1, January 1996 169