• Stay centered/relaxed/focused.
  • Concentrate on positive aspects of this process.
  • We will get through it and it will end.
  • Change is difficult, requires patience and perspective.
  • The bigger the change the greater the requirements.
  • The outcome will be a good one.
  • Our mediator understands the dynamic and can help- let him be in control.
  • He has been through harder mediations. He has the experience to help.
  • This process requires tolerance, forgiveness, and going the extra mile.
  • I will continue to be responsible for myself and try to do well for our child. She is my major focus.
  • I can only control myself.
  • I will respond to my spouse’s anger and judging with perspective and forgiveness.
  • I will not allow my spouse to hurt or anger me by anything he says or does.
  • I will not react personally or negatively to my spouse.
  • I will continue to act affirmatively whenever possible.
  • My spouse cannot help it and is not acting out of malevolence or intentional hurtfulness.
  • I will continue to act with integrity, sensitivity, and with my eye on the goal of completing the process with the best possible outcome.
  • I will keep my eye on the prize of peace.
  • I deserve it and have worked hard for it.
  • I believe I will come out of this a stronger, better person.
  • I believe God will help me and take care of me.

My Vision

There will be a time within the next year when I will catch myself smiling or laughing without even thinking about it. I will wake up with a mind and heart clear of fear of the unknown and the unanticipated financial and emotional threats that now burden my life and relationships. I will return to being an innately happy person who values recreation, relaxation, andrelationships. I will be able to regenerate. I have carried the burden for many years; I can continue to carry it quietly for another few weeks. It has been a long road. I can keep going a little bit longer. I have done a good job. I will get to the end and start a new beginning.

[Editor’s Note: Poem submitted by attorney Forrest Mosten, Identity of the author is withheld by request. Salient facts are fictitious.]